DEALING WITH ANGER

How can I deal with anger in my life and become an encouraging person? I believe that GOD's design is for all of us to be encouragers and build one another up - I don't believe that we should settle for second best or a mediocre life where we pass ourselves off as 'difficult' or 'grumpy'!

Before you read on let me remind you that you are GOD's masterpiece, created and designed for a purpose! Seek the best, seek excellence, seek HIM!

Let us not be misconceived, anger is real and it's hard to deal with, but it is possible! It may be easier said than done, but here are a few easy steps that you can incorporate into your everyday life to become less angry and more encouraging!

1. WAIT ON GOD

Psalm 39:13-15 – I will wait for You Lord, You will answer – David let the Lord take control of a situation that could have angered him. In Proverbs 20:22 we read Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you! How encouraging is that! We must never underestimate the value of not rushing into things, waiting allows GOD to move in HIS timing.

2. BE PREPARED, IT MAY HAPPEN AGAIN!

How many times should I forgive someone who keeps repeating the offence? Peter asked Jesus the same question in Mat 18:21-22, Jesus gave him such a large number that it was implied that we should keep on forgiving. I believe that it's because it will probably happen again... so we should be prepared to forgive. GOD gives us a model for this in HIS Grace, we can never out-sin Grace!

Silly Anger...

(this post is part of our series on dealing with anger)

There's no better way to describe this last type of anger other than calling it unnecessary, wasteful, silly anger...

How are we silly in our anger?

Grumbling
“Do not grumble against each other.” James could not have put this any simpler nor any more precise. DO NOT GRUMBLE AGAINST EACH OTHER. If we look at this action, we can see how it's the easy way out! When we grumble it shows that we are not willing to deal with our problem since we will not say out loud what we are feeling. Instead we duck and divebomb leaving nuances and cryptic clues as to what the actual problem is. Like distant thunder, we can hear it coming but never know when the storm will hit!

Sudden Anger...

Have you ever been driving down the road and someone pulls in front of you and cuts you off? Our reactions are often a great example of sudden anger! Anything that will get you splitting mad in a split second... that's sudden anger.

Proverbs 12:16 tells us that a fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.

There's this unofficial law in life - Murphy's law. It suggests that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, at the worst time! When we are late for a deadline and our printer fails, the stationary shop that is always open is closed, the clothes that we need have not been ironed, our relationships are going well and then we are betrayed, we work hard for our raise and it goes to someone else, we dedicate time and effort into planning and organising an event and half the guests don’t pitch, walking home from the shops a packet of food drops and spills in the middle of the road... you get what I'm saying?

Anger - Loving or Not Loving??

Anger is a heightened emotion that leads us act against someone or something. It can either be a right action, or a wrong action. I think the defining quality in our actions must be love. Are we acting out of love or not?

I think there are two main ways in which we can get angry and still love...

When we get angry because of injustice, we need to respond in a way that restores relationship and show GOD's love. Our actions need to remind others of GOD's promises and purposes for His people. We need to encourage them and show them His love.

Anger is also a necessary step in dealing with grief or trauma, if the heightened emotion leads us to growth and renewal, then our anger has been righteous! I believe that if we are led to stand up for GOD AND encourage others, then we are learning more about how Jesus lived.

Does anger make me a bad person?

Before we explore anger any further, I have really been feeling a sense of 'let's get our minds right' first. It's easy to analyze and write nice things about anger, but what about when it really effects me and I am so hurt that I respond in a way that is influenced by my anger?

The main reason that we are looking at anger, in the context of being an encourager for Christ, is to encourage us that anger itself is not wrong, it's our response that counts! In Eph 4:26 we are told 'In your anger, do not sin.' So, it is not our anger that is the sin, but our unmeasured response to the deep emotions that we know as anger.

As I said in our previous post, it is often difficult to encourage others when we are angry, but it is actually our enemies that we really need to be loving and encouraging (Matt 5:44). So, if we can get our minds right, and our hearts aligned with Christ, then hopefully, we'll be able to be angry and not sin. Wouldn't that be awesome!! To have such self control that we can manage our anger and not let it manage us? I believe that it's not only possible, but that it is part of GOD's plan for your life!

So, if you're still asking 'Does anger make me a bad person', then let me encourage you with this breif concluding thought. In God's eyes, He loves you no matter what. His love is unconditional, so whether you're a super positive person or a grumpy old pile of misery - GOD LOVES YOU!

It's not conditional on you being good or bad, it's not conditional on you getting things right and always having a smile on your face. So, to GOD, I believe that it's not about good or bad, because we'll always mess up somewhere along the line, it's about being saved. It's about being in a relationship with Him and constantly working on that relationship. (If you want to know more about this relationship - please mail us!).

Keep an eye out for our next post as we start to look at three types of anger in our lives, until then - BE BLESSED!

Alice the Camel - Introduction to Anger

When we were kids we used to sing this song called Alice the Camel. The idea was to start off at the highest number you could think of and count backwards as Alice loses another hump... as we would get closer and closer to zero we would get louder and louder and more excited! Eventually (depending on how high we could count!!) we would get to the last verse: Alice the camel has no humps so ALICE (shouting it now...) IS A HORSE!!! Then we'd keel over with much hilarity and, if our parents were extremely unlucky, we'd start again.

I think that anger is a lot like this song, only we don't fall over laughing. We start our day off with loads of humps, although some people have the unfortunate disposition to only have a few, and as each event of the day unravels we tend to lose a few humps. If the day has found itself to be highly frustrating, we may lose all our humps by lunch, and become a little hoarse from shouting, screaming and tossing the occasional piece of office stationary. We get angry! My dad always used to say to me: "When you get cross, things get worse." At the time it never really helped, but upon reflection, his words were wise.

Anger comes in more than one form, it can come gradually or immediately, we sometimes store it up and hold imaginary black-books against people. Either way, anger hinders us from encouraging others. The last thing you feel like doing when you're angry is saying: "Hey, good job!" If we are able to muster those words, it's often through gritted teeth!!

I look forward to journeying with you as we look at anger, what it is and how we can effectively deal with it through GOD's love and hand in our lives. Ultimately, I think we all want to be happy and encouraging people, but with the curve balls that often get pitched our way, it can be hard. Being a Christian, or Christ Follower, doesn't mean that we get it right all the time, but it does mean that we are Saved, Justified and Sanctified by GOD's grace. I love Rom 8:38 where we are reminded that nothing can separate us from GOD's love that is ours through Jesus Christ! So be encouraged by those words, even if you get so mad and let your anger totally control you, GOD can fix the situation!